I'm Back!

Geesh...the past year and a half have been some crazy ones! I am soooo tired of being cold, come on Texas Heat! Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and safe and family filled New Year.

Where to begin....? Well, most recently, I was so happy to reunite with a brother that I haven't seen in almost twenty years :)! He and his family, my niece and nephew and his wife and myself and my hubby and kids, along with my sister and her son(now living with us! whole other story in itself!), all had dinner last Saturday. It was wonderful, he is soooo sweet and his kids are beautiful and so sweet as well. His wife is too funny and sweet, of course. There is a lot of family crap that we've both endured as far as our father, whom I will refer to as "the sperm donor" from here on out. I don't tell my story about that to too many ppl.

Short and sweet, my father could be the perfect psychopath, he's smart in a scary way and I could see him being on one of those crime shows as a serial killer or rapist or something..scary I know! Short and to the point, he was and is abusive, both physically, mentally and verbally. He is a pedophile and a drunk, a womanizer and a habitual liar. Woohoo, gotta love that for a dad huh? Ummm...not! He should have been locked away years ago, and all I can say is Thank God my mom got us away from him as soon as she did.

Anyhow! Enough about the "sperm donor"!

I am happy to say that the relationship with my first daughter and my grandson is still going strong. We text and message each other via facebook quite often. We were able to spend the day at her grandmas the first week in January. Where we exchanged Christmas gifts and talked and ate and the kids had a blast. I'm soooo blessed, I can only Thank God for giving me the chance to know her and her family and have the wonderful relationship we still have. Thanks for taking the time to read this, I promise to post again soon! If anyone still reads this blog that is!!

Wow..it's been so long!

For those of you who read my blogs, I apologize for not blogging in so long. I have been so wrapped up in my new job that I hardly have time to breathe :).

I'll try to bring you up to date with all the latest in my life in as few words as possible. My relationship with my first daughter and her mom are as wonderful as ever. I am so very thankful and blessed by the fact that not every reunion is as uncomplicated and stress free as ours has been from the very beginning. My grandson is as handsome and beautiful as ever, tons of curls and the biggest brown eyes with the longest eyelashes I have ever seen! We were able to go and exchange Christmas gifts and spend the day on Jan 2nd. I hadn't seen them since August, wow how time flies.

My second daughter is in Eighth grade this year and so our biggest dilemma now is where she's going to High School. She's finally made up her mind for certain and her dad and I are agreeable with her decision. The school she's chosen is better for her academically, she's thoroughly in love with acting and playing soccer...both of which programs are offered at this high school. My middle son has had some issues, but over all he's doing great this year, awesome grades! As for my youngest, my most rambunctious and daredevil of a son, he's as fun as ever.

Guess I should give you a brief description of my new job, the one that has been keeping me far far away from my blog. I work as a Two Yr old Mothers Day Out Lead teacher at our church. I love it really. Here lately I've been struggling with some new developments, but over all I love the job. I don't just work in that program, I work Sundays, both mornings and evenings and I work whenever they need me on other occasions. Every Wednesday evening we have WOW, Tues and Thurs is MDO(Mothers Day Out), Mondays we have Monday fun Day's, and also on Wednesdays, the first and second of the month we have MOPS. (Mothers of Pre Schoolers). All of these, my job is to watch the kids and or teach. There are other nights that I work too, but that list is basically why I haven't been able to blog in awhile.

I'm going to try to get on more, but if you don't see anything for awhile then you'll know why!!! Thanks for listening to my rambling and have a great weekend!

Time Flies...

Spent the day with my first daughter yesterday...it was awesome as always. I cannot believe how big my grandbaby is getting and wow the curls!!! I cherish every minute with them and have to give all my thanks to God for blessing me with such a wonderful relationship with my firstdaughter and her family. I try to explain how it is I feel when I am there, but for some reason the words illude me. I know that I am her first mom, but I also know I am not her mom. Nor do I intend to be. I am no longer jealous of the relationship that she and her mom have, and amazingly enough, have not had those feelings from day one of our first face to face. I really thought that I would, but I think that in my mind all I could see was that tiny little baby. Now it is REAL to me that she is no longer a baby but a grown woman and I am proud that I had some little part in that. Not in raising her, but in nurturing her while she was still apart of me and for being blessed enough to have found a wonderful family. She and her mom are so very close and it tugs at my heart...in a good way. :)

They have made me feel welcome and like a part of thier family from day one. It has meant so much to me that they made sure that my first daughter knew about me and about her brothers and sister. I still say that having an open adoption is something I don't think I could have done, but I feel as if in a way that is what we have now. When I was young, it was still too fresh and the pain was unbearable. My feeling is that it would have been like pouring salt into an open wound. The thought of seeing "my" baby with someone else, calling someone else momma, and then having to watch them leave with her everytime would have been too much for me to bear. I have to say that I have an enormous amount of admiration for those first moms who are in open adoptions. I took lots of pics and cannot wait to share...hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and I'll try to post again soon :)

Made it!!!!

This week has been so much fun, but an experience I do not want to repeat...LOL.
Our Church had it's annual week of VBS and it was a blast, but by Wed. everyone was exhausted, teachers and children alike...:(. Last year I had so much fun, learning the songs and the dances that go with, and this year was a whole new ball game. I was with the first graders last year, one classroom over from my oldest son. This year we had twelve two and three year olds!!!
Thank the Lord we had three teachers, as well as two of us had teen daughters that were too old to attend but were able to volunteer and they helped immensely. The girls got to spend the first hour in our small chapel working on the routines for the pre k and four yr olds then they would come help us after that. Setting up snacks and helping to keep the kids entertained by dancing for them while they ate. It was the cutest thing ever :). OOOHHH and the highlite of the week...drum roll plz....lol, my daughter has her first boyfriend. He goes to the church and actually helped in our room this week. He's really sweet.

I know that this year I will be having my own class, the two yr olds, and so now I have an idea of what to expect. The difference, however, is that this was all week and MDO is only Tues and Thurs, so we get a break in between. Of course, the drawback to that is MDO is a six hour day as opposed to three ...ugh. Really though, I'm thoroughly thrilled, excited and nervous, to be having my own room next year. I'm anxious to get in and start getting my classroom ready and to see how this first year will be. Thankfully, my friend and co worker from Wednesday nights is going to be my assisting teacher. She's great, I love working with her and our kids have a blast together. We are both ready to get started and I'm so happy that we both have the same ideas about what we want and don't want in our class. It's hard to explain, but for me......being able to work with the children of fellow church goers is the most satisfying and enjoyable "job" I've ever had. I feel blessed to have been given the opportunity to care for and get to know these children as well as develop a special relationship with thier parents. Before, it was just the other couples I attended bible class and church with, now it's ....I don't know...just a blessing I never dreamed of.

There is so much more that I could write, but I'll keep it short for now....have a great weekend!!!