Wednesday, October 15, 2008

You have got to be kidding me!!!!

This falls in the "be careful what you say and in front of whom you say it" rule I believe. It is an incident that happened last year when my son was in Kindergarden and it still lingers in my mind. Of course it does not help that I see this woman everyday, and that she lives within visual sight of my house.

One morning I was running late, as usual, and had to sign in at the office before I could take my son to his class. I dropped him off and proceeded to the office to sign out. While signing out of the system, I overheard a conversation between another student's mother and the head woman in the office. The Mother was expressing her feelings about her daughter's reaction to finding out she was adopted. Her daughter is in fifth grade this year and was apparently 10 when her parents shared this information with her.

Now do not mis interpret what I'm about to say here. I do understand from a mothers perspective, the emotion that this young girls mother could have been feeling. She explained in detail, how they had told her daughter about her firstparent's. Apparently, her daughter replied with a comment something like..."you mean I have more parents out there??". Now...I understand, that this is her mother, in every sense of the word. But it did sting a little to hear her respond to this question so vehemently. "NO" she said, "you only have one set of parent's". She told this story with what sounded to me like quite alot of resentment and anger at the fact that her daughter had even thought, much less said alound, that she had "other parent's" out there somewhere.

I don't blame her for her response, because in reality, she is correct. I suppose, it might have been tone in which she said it, or the look on her face when she was recalling it. She has every right to feel the way she feels and I'm sure that if I knew the whole story I might feel differently. However, it just hit a nerve, I wanted to say..."I am a firstmom, and I found my Firstdaughter and we have an amazing relationship". I wanted to shout, sometimes it does work out. Sometimes you can have a relationship with your birthchild and his/her parents.



Now every day when I go in there, I want to pull out the picture of my first and second daughter sitting side by side for the first time ever. Then follow that up with a picture of my grandson... :).... Oh what I would give to have a picture of ALL my children together. I haven't yet, but one day I will. I just want people to realise, that no matter what ....be careful what you say, because you never know who might be listening...or within earshot that is!

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