UGH!

Maybe someone else can relate to this, maybe not, but I am driving MYSELF crazy because of it. I am a very sensitive person, I cry at sappy movies, hearing stories of children who have been hurt or killed brings me to tears and makes my stomach turn. I hate being in a room full of quiet people, I will talk about anything just to have it not be quiet...LOL. Which I suppose is the reason my friends say I'm the friendliest person they know...I'll talk to just about anyone. Of course staying at home all the time makes this trait even worse.
I don't have many friends, I have a few that we have our trials and tribulations just like any other relationship, but we always manage to remain friends. However, there are those that I think we are that close and then one day....it's just not there. Not because I don't want that friendship, and not necessarily because they don't either. Just because life continues to move....and you have to keep up. I have a tendency to say things or do things that I don't realise and sometimes that's the reason for a friendship loss. My point is this.
I wish that it was easy for me to just let a friendship go, like some can just keep going like it never was. For me, I dwell on it and dwell on it, almost to the point of going crazy. Mostly, if I don't know why.....if one minute we are and the next we aren't, I go insane trying to figure out what happened. If I know it is just because our lives were so hectic that we lost touch, then it hurts, but not as bad....does that make sense? I just wish I could let go.....because the not knowing hurts too damned much.
For all the friends I have, and for all the friends I've lost....you all have a special place in my heart.